HSG 007

Super Spy Health and Safety Guide

In honour of the new role of H&S manager that Mi5 are looking for we thought we would create a guidance document especially designed for the spy activity to help them!

We are calling it HSG 007

Your super spoof guide to Spy Safety






Policy 

Mi5 is committed to the highest standards of health and safety of its operatives. We provide a policy to support this:

We will:

• Define the responsibilities and duties for all the employees but we may not tell you about them until afterwards
• Maintain mission debrief systems to monitor and review the effectiveness of the Health & Safety processes 
•  Consult with the employees share information with the other appropriate agencies unless they are the enemy
• We commit to denying all tabloid reports about risks we face and strive to ensure that they remain secret 
• We ensure that everyone is adequately trained and has the appropriate license
• We provide safe access and egress from our working environments and where safe egress is not possible, provide little red pills so as to ensure that our privacy policy remains intact 
• The side effects of all chemicals and substances used are not always known so we will do our very best to manage, store and handle them off the coast or in secluded sparsely populated areas.
• Ensure that the policy is not brought to the attention of anyone
• Provide safe systems of work and equipment, which are designed to remove by force or explosion all risks identified through risk assessment, to employees, and the general public
• Ensure that the policy is regularly reviewed and if necessary, revised in keeping with The Official Secrets Act 1989
• Regularly review operational risks and make available to our employees relevant guidance through a secured line or satellite phone in order to undertake their roles and responsibilities unless such communication may compromise national security. 

Risk Assessment 

Due to the nature of the work risks can be identified but in a lot of cases good guesses may be required.

If you see at any point a man holding a golden gun you MUST act immediately to remove the risk.

If there is a risk identified the following acceptable control measures have been approved and may be used:

1. Blow it up - using approved explosives only
2. Shoot it - ensuring that your firing equipment is fully tested prior to use
3. Call in an air strike - using form F25007

We will monitor the effectiveness of the control measures and review these at regular intervals. 

If any of them do not work safe egress is recommended 

Ensure that all activities are risk assessed prior to commencement, and a dynamic risk assessment is completed in the field